A very disappointed Sean Hegarty is considering a return to bad behaviour in libraries, it was reported today.

After moving two bricks in his backyard to expose the Elaborate Underworld Beneath his house, Hegarty was dejected when evil demons with enormous fangs failed to appear.

"I was hoping that beings of pure evil would pour forth and pursue whoever it was I was angry with," a confused Hegarty said.

"But if there are no such things ... well, I'm saddened. It just doesn't seem right, does it?"

When asked how the beings of pure evil would know who to attack, Hegarty looked philosophical. "I think I read somewhere that they tend to exterminate software makers first, and writers last."

When pressed for more specific information, Hegarty eventually admitted that he'd read this in one of his own diaries.

Was it a recent entry?

Hegarty looked uncomfortable and evasive, but eventually nodded yes.